Goodbye old girl, yoga wonder, and #handstand365 Day 28

  Today was the end of an era.  When my two older spawn were very little the Superhero and I used to run bundle hauling paper routes.  It was so fun!  I drove around rural Kansas late at night while the boys slept and were young and bendy enough not to mind sleeping in the car.   I would drink coffee and listen to audio books and  drop off some paper bundles to other carriers while getting paid to do  what I pretty much did through much of high school minus the newspaper and getting pair part.   I saw the Aurora Borealis three times and countless other crazy shiznit on that paper route.  Storms and fires and a black bull trotting down them middle of the road and the only thing that kept me from hitting him was I saw the sway of his testicles  as the rest of him was as black as the night.  Funny but true!

  For the time that we ran paper routes we drove Ford Festivas.  We have had a few of them.  My favorite has been the TARDIS blue old girl that we got rid of today after many years and a couple hundred thousand miles, on top of the 90,000 that was on her when we bought her.  Did I mention she got 43 miles to the gallon!

  Back when my eyesight was better, Im not that old really, the Superhero and I were driving in rural Kansas checking out a house that his mom was raving about.   We spotted a bright blue car way off in the distance.  Jaymon said, "I would love to have that car" and my eagle eyes spotted the For Sale sign in the window.  The rest was history.

  Years later I packed her to practically busting at the seams when the spawn and I first moved to Des Moines.  I was pregnant with Archimedes and the other three were so small still.   We made many trips back and forth to Kansas to visit Jaymon while he worked.

  So today we said goodbye to her.  She was TARDIS blue, sexy, and bigger on the inside. (xoxo to my Whovian peeps who appreciate that) A new era has begun and the Iowa era is ending.   She represented being parents of very little spawn.  Now we have outgrown that part of our lives.  I don't have little children like that anymore.  They are gone and have been replaced with these strange older beings.  Equally charming spawn of course and full of interesting new thoughts but I am no longer a parent to little kids.  Granted Archimedes and Milo are still quite small but it feels different.  We have outgrown our old car and now our house too.  I knew it was coming but now its here.

  I deal.  I mark the time and look forward to the next era.  Big adventures ahead.  I keep plugging away at the basic needs I have to meet.  I am learning about myself , sharing my story, and trying to spread some kindness and love.   Yoga helps me deal.  

 Today was Day 28 of the #handstand365.  I had fun practicing today!  I tried a one handed handstand and was shocked to discover that I could only hold it on my left side which is typically not my dominant side.

I also played with headstands again.  It gets me in touch with my core and transfers over to handstand practice well.  I had not tried these variations before today and was pleased that I didn't fall over!   These are part of seven variations of headstand in Ashtanga yoga.  

  I also practiced my wheel pose.  Backbends are still quite hard for me.  I am strong in many ways but not so bendy in a lot of ways too.  I must say that I enjoy the journey to becoming more bendy.   I think my mind is becoming more flexible with my body.    I am able to keep my feet down now and my knees closer together and straighten my arms more.  Its getting there.   I can see in the picture that I need to lift my heart.

   Remember that movie Spanglish?   I remember Adam Sandler's sandwich and Tea Leoni's yoga pose she did.  Both are quite memorable.  I thought that that pose was unattainable and defied all logic of how balance and gravity worked.  Funny how when you can do something you take it for granted a little bit even when consciously I try not to take it for granted.

 So, because its fun and I remember vividly thinking that I could never do something like that I practiced Astavakrasana.  It gets me back in touch with part of yoga that is full of wonder and self discovery for me even when I can do the pose.  I can do it but it still doesn't make sense that it can work.  

  I sent off a rental application today......fingers and toes crossed!

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Angie Bee

Handstand365 Day 27

 Short but sweet.  I'm not feeling so hot today.  My hormones are all outta whack so I'm taking it easy and removing all expectations of myself.  I'm giving myself permission to rest and take a break from just about everything.

  
Today was day 27 of #handstand365.  I learned from a fellow instagramer that its better to put the head down and look at the tree in L shaped handstand.   

  Filled out a rental application today for a house we would love to live in!  Cross your fingers and toes for me!!

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Angie Bee

Impatient and #handstand365 Day 26

  Last night my little Archimedes Supercell was up all night.  He couldn't sleep and then he started throwing up.  The upside is that he is finally mature enough not to be so scared of the whole process and he can at least try to get to an appropriate place to let it fly.

  My whole day has been out of whack.  I was up with him snuggling and taking care and then after I got Jupiter on the bus I went back to bed and slept until 1:30.  So when I woke up I was frustrated.  I have a hard enough time falling asleep at night as it is.  Also my stomach feels a bit dodgy now too.

  I went out to practice handstand earlier and did some Sun Salutations and headstands and it helped tremendously and I even took some probiotics but now I am just feeling impatient waiting to get this whole sick thing over with.  If its going to happen lets just get it going.  Life doesn't work like that though.

  I was feeling impatient with my handstand practice today too.  I know that the power of yoga comes from the process not some arbitrary destination.  Thats a hard thing to grasp on days when I have less tolerance for pretty much everything!  I think that I am stuck because I don't have a strong enough core and can't let my hips go over my shoulders and yet not too far.  I know it will come eventually.  I had some lovely friends remind me today to cool out and do something else for a while and I did and I remembered whats truly important.  I know what my goals are.  I enjoy working on them and I have a plan to improve.  What more is there really?

  Here is a quick little video I did with a core workout to try!  

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Angie Bee

Be Brave and #handstand365 Day 25

    I was participating in a FitFluential chat tonight for Under Armour's Whats Beautiful campaign, of which I think has a great message and not just about selling clothing.  Of course they want to sell stuff but they are doing some positive work to get your money and I like the camaraderie of the women that are participating. 

  Anyways, One of the questions for bloggers was , and I don't remember the exact wording of it,   describe "your personal brand".  I get what they mean and I have tried going in that direction but it didn't feel authentic anymore so I stopped thinking of my blog like that.  So my answer was that I don't consider myself a brand.  I just put myself out there honestly and include my struggles as well as my triumphs and keep trying to grow and let the world see ME as I do so.    

  One of my parenting philosophies is that being the kind of example I want my spawn to see is the most important way to teach them.  Its the same thing with the rest of the world really.  I want people to know that their attitude has a strong impact on  personal growth and happiness so I try and have a positive and calm attitude through my struggles.  It is absolutely not easy but it can be rewarding and wonderful too. 

  I want my sons to be brave and not let fear dictate the path their life takes.  Fear is one powerful tool if you use it right but its also dangerous to the pursuit of happiness.   Now granted, I don't think that happiness is necessarily the most important thing in the world, I think a sense of purpose and direction is,  but thats a whole different subject.  My point is that fear can keep you from seeing what options are out there, what paths there are to take, what possibilities the universe has to offer.  If you can master your fear then you can see and think and feel wisely in all that you do. 

  Putting yourself out there and being committed to growth and self improvement is some scary shit!!  Thats where the bravery comes in.   I will inevitably fail.  Not all the time but it will happen and its often tinged with discomfort..... to say it mildly!  But I keep going and keep moving forward.  Progress is progress no matter how small it may seem.  The fact that you did something is what matters. 

  For bleeps sake, I have MS and adrenal fatigue and yet I am learning to stand on my hands and moving with my family halfway across the country.  Its scary but being scared is fun sometimes too. Its exhilarating  and full of hope.  Its ok to inspire yourself too :)

  So, take a deep breath, give yourself a pep talk, BE BRAVE, and do something you have been wanting to do and fear kept getting in the way.  You've got this!!  Open your heart and your mind will follow.  

  I worked on backbends today which had the added benefit of opening my heart as well.  When I try and do forearm stands and handstands my back is super stiff.  I started working on letting go of that tension today and of course it got me thinking.  

  I am also adding in some more core work in order to improve my handstand.  A strong core is good for the whole self really and I could use a strong center. 

Today was Day 25 of my #handstand365 challenge. 

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Send me happy house renting juju and #handstand365 Day 24

    Today as the fabulous midwestern thunderstorms rolled in and the tornado sirens started blaring,   I was speaking on the phone with a lovely woman in Port Angeles Washington about a house we would really love to rent.   I hesitate to write this as I feel strange writing it out at all.  It seems like Port Angeles might be too good to be true.   It gets less precipitation than we do here in Des Moines and it has water to the north and mountains to the south.  I think I found autism services for Jupiter and there is a vocational school and community college.   I would love love love some good house juju sent my way!!   (no tornados in our neck of the woods.  It all went just north of us)

  I was thinking today about the things that I will miss about the midwest.  I mentioned the fabulous thunderstorms.  Yes, they are damaging and terrifying at times but the strange feel to the air....  The charge in the air as a storm is all black and menacing with thunderheads looming above,  its incredible.   If you have a basement of course then you can appreciate  the beauty!    I remember coming to Kansas from California as a kid and being amazed at the thunderstorms.  That amazement does not go away.  

  I have been watching handstand tutorial videos and working on my core so I can eventually lift into handstand steadily and more controlled.  I did make some progress but while I was practicing the Superhero said my back looked stiff as a board.   I can feel it and knew what he meant as soon as he said it.   I feel like my back locks up as soon as my hips start to go over my shoulders at all.  So although I am working on my balance in the air, I need to practice up right to make being upside down more stable. 

  The feeling of needing a good long practice has been creeping up.  I do some yoga throughout the day but I have been so busy with so many things that yoga has been put on the back burner for the most part and I am starting to feel a regression.   So tomorrow my plan is to have a nice long back bending practice and get back on track.   I love how even though I know there is so much work to be done on myself I still feel mellow and eager about it and not down on myself.  Pretty amazing growth if I do say so myself!  

  Embrace Monday and be awesome!!!

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Angie Bee

Some days you got it and some days you don't, Handstand365 Day 23

  Some days my balance is there and other days its non existant.  Granted I am still improving and I had a nice practice with my tree friend but I couldn't get any hang time out in the open yard.  I expected it though.  I have been cleaning and sorting all day and was kinda worn out and distracted.  I had to just accept after so many attempts that it just wasn't going to happen and be ok with that.

  Part of me wants to take a defeatist attitude but my better judgement was the "meh" part of me that rolled up my mat and went inside for a cuppa tea and some Star Trek.  Tomorrow will be better!

(in the picture, on the other side of the tree, I see a floating buddha leaning against the tree and sitting in Lotus with a bit of a cat face smelling a flower....)

Today was Day 23 of #handstand365.   I spent most of the afternoon by myself.  CRAZY!  I am hardly ever alone.  I don't mind being alone but its strange when I am usually surrounded by so many people in my own house every single day.   Lucky I like the spawn or it would be hard to deal.  I always miss the spawn and the superhero when they are gone.  

My soundtrack for the day sounded like this.  I cant get enough of Midnight City M83!!

Have an awesome Sunday!

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Angie Bee

Half Way There to my UnderArmour Whats Beautiful Goal and Day 22 of #handstand365

   Happy Dance, Happy Dance!  Today I held a handstand for 5 seconds!  I set my interval timer app on my phone to 1 second and it caught 5 frames of awesomeness!  I am really stoked.  There is definite progress both in my strength and balance but also my fear levels are way down.  That is a huge part of handstand or any inversions.  Such a challenge to work on tiny little incremental changes and not get frustrated.  I get down sometimes and frustrated when it seems like I have been working on something forever and it doesn't budge and then one day it comes.  I believe I can do this!  #Iwill do this!

 I am working on the Under Armour Whats Beautiful campaign with many of my other FitFluential peeps.  My personal goals are to do a handstand a day for 365 days as well as, hopefully, the shorter term goal of holding a handstand for 10 seconds.

  You can check out my profile and follow my progress here as well as sign up and challenge yourself to new heights!  There are also teams to join.  Its always fun to rock some goals with friends.   There are some incentives too with weekly featured profiles and swag bag winners.

  I have lots of friends racing this weekend.  

HAVE A BLAST LOVES!!!

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Angie Bee