Friday, September 14, 2012

A letter to the Goddess. Please bless my IUD.

Dear Goddess,

I write to you today asking that you intervene on my behalf.  Typically I take what the universe hands me and try and deal the best I can.  Lately however it seems as though I can't catch a break.   Don't get me wrong, I am a lucky lucky girl who has life quite good compared to some but I am suffering lately.

  Today I had a Mirena IUD inserted.  I thought for sure that there was some GOP old white dude gremlin instead of an IUD being inserted into my uterus, as it was pretty uncomfortable, but now hours later I am not feeling any discomfort.   I was more nervous really and now feeling hopeful and staying positive instead of worrying.  I am excited about the possibilities that might lie ahead.

  I have done much research and forum lurking trying to gleam some insight as to how other women take control of their reproductive business and its a tricky business for sure.  It's a gamble and when we loose, such as when birth control makes us fat, or crazy, or our hair fall out, we loose hard when our intentions were ones of being responsible thoughtful adults.

  My heart goes out to all the ladies out there and I beseech you, Oh Goddess, to have pity and help us out a bit.   We pay a great price to reproduce with the pain and stretch marks, sapping of nutrients, and lack of sleep.   I wouldn't change being a bringer of life as I thoroughly enjoyed pregnancy, birth, and nursing.  I geeked out on all of it and look back on it fondly.  I have a choice now, of which I am grateful for the choice and will speak up to keep that choice, whether or not I want to have more children and ease the discomfort and madness that my period brings.

  Thirty five years of being a girl and I can say that it is full of shame and yuck.  I am tired of the shame as its unfounded.  Half the population is a girl and we should be able to talk openly about our struggles.   So I write this open and visible letter to you, Goddess,  to bless this writing with courage and moxie that those who read this will be infected with said courage and moxie as I am feeling compassion and empathy for my fellow female.

 My body had done amazing and messy things.    I have done my time.  I have paid my biological dues.  I have reproduced and reproduced well.  I have nursed my babies for years and years and now I am done.   There should be an off switch.  I am hoping I have found it.

  Its not as important that I stop having a period, it would be nice don't get me wrong, but the crash after my period is just too much.  I am down for days and I can't take care of myself or my family if I am in bed with such debilitating fatigue.  So if this whole Mirena thing works, maybe I will get to keep those days and do something with them.   I want to be able to decipher what is hormones and what is the MS bullshit.

  Like I said,  I am done having babies and wanting to focus on raising those young men and having to deal with PMS, pain, headaches, cramps, and the expense of tampons, makes it difficult to stay focused and appreciate this next phase in my life.    I have hit the age when things get a little whacked out and I am taking responsibility for my body and mind but could use a little bit of a smile from the Goddess.  Please bless my IUD.

From one bringer of life to another I wish you well and thanks for listening, Goddess.
Sincerely,
Angie Bee

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are ashamed to admit it but being a woman is hard! I know I don't like to admit my weaknesses. But I think you did the right thing for you and your family, and screw anyone who tries to tell you differently!

-Patty

shel said...

girl you are going to LOVE that damn thing. it is my best friend. it is my longtime (going on 6 years now) companion and the best decision i have ever made for my reproductive health. my periods come each month but they are so light that i maybe have to wear something for protection one day only. there is no pain, bloating or fatigue associated with my periods. the IUD is MORE effective than sterilization. it also, if you leave it in until you are older, will prevent most of the symptoms of menopause! i have never noticed the symptoms that the pill gave me like dangerous mood swings, metallic taste in my mouth, headaches etc. the hormone is released locally and is tiny, it really doesn't hit your blood stream.
the only drawbacks are:
1)for the first 3-6 months you may have random spotting. this is not a time to be free with your business. always be wearing panties, because it comes on without warning, though it's usually minor. this is a hurdle that you must get over, but it's worth it. also, it will take a year or more for your periods to become light or totally disappear.
2) i and others have experienced more general dryness, which makes sense since the IUD thickens cervical mucus. so the very unromantic and unspontaneous bottle of lubricant needs to be kept in full supply in the night stand.

other than that, i cannot imagine having made a better or safer choice. reproducing was lovely, i agree, but doing it again is just about the worst thing that could happen to our family outside of one of the current members getting chronically ill,injured or dead. everyone has a certain toolkit to work with, mine only accommodates 2 children. :-)
rock that IUD!

Sally said...

Angie-you should seriously consider getting your tubes tied. Best thing ever.I had mine done 27 yrs ago and have never regretted it. You will still have periods but may lesson your issues. Especially with your other health concerns, it is a great alternative.

Robin Robinson said...

Now I know that some women do not have great experiences with the Mirena, so I want to acknowledge that. Some bodies do not cooperate wit the hormones in it, even at such a small dose.

However.

I would marry my Mirena if polyandry were legal. I'm on the second year of my second IUD, and it's probably my favorite thing ever. I pray that you and your Mirena are as happy together as mine and I are. Truly.

XLMIC said...

The "whacked" is so not fun :( I hope the IUD gives you that which you seek :)

Jamie said...

I think what you are doing is great, especially since it is your decision and you are speaking freely about it! I know what you mean about the monthly pain. Every year it gets worse for me so i know how you feel. :/
I hope it works out for you!

Laura Savage said...

How is it working for you?

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I wish you luck, Angie. I've been on birth control for decades now. I am a new reader. I found you while looking for barefoot running shoe reviews.

Love your site and your sense of humor.

SB

Beth said...

Why don't you just have a hysterectomy? Seems much easier, more reliable, and you don't need to ask a mythical goddess that that will hear you just as well as as a wooden wall.

Angie Bee said...

A hysterectomy is major surgery and I am not wanting the birth control to control birth as I can do that without help. I am looking for the least invasive option to reduce the stress of a monthly eradic period.

So far no problems.

Kotoula01 said...

Oh wow do I hear you! Had the same issues with erratic periods. I had my first son at age 22, and 5th and last one at 32. I was DONE. I just wanted to feel normal and be able to focus on raising the boys into men. I did that injection BC for awhile, but it was so bad with the periods I wanted a hysterectomy. Dr. in Canada refused because of my age (around 34 when I asked) I had to stop the injection because the Dr. told me it wasn't safe anymore. Hubby had his vasectomy by then, so I just left the BC and focused on my diet and exercise. I have found for me that a well formulated LC(low carb) HF(high fat) diet combined with moderate exercise, and removing gluten, has been the final answer for me, now age 46. Paleo/Primal I don't really follow a 'diet' plan per se,I eat lots of healthy fats, extra virgin coconut oil every day, and grass fed beef tallow for cooking. 3 eggs per day (yolks are important for hormone regulation) and avocados. My carbs are from rice/rice noodles, but I don't eat them every day. I have a pretty severe auto-immune inflammatory disease as well, and the LCHF diet seems to keep the symptoms the quietest of all. The higher fat and gluten free have made the greatest difference of all. Good luck with your journey, and thanks for sharing.

I provide Bradley Method childbirth education, doula, belly casting, placenta encapsulation, and post partum doula services.
I serve families in Kitsap County, Bainbridge Island, Poulsbo, Bremerton, Silverdale, Kingston, Port Townsend, Bremerton, Port Orchard, and the greater Seattle area. email me atangiebeehotz@gmail.com with any questions you might have