Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Choosing to be free and #handstand365 Day 33 and 34

  Today I told my neighbors that we are moving.  We have been in this duplex since I moved to Des Moines 6 years ago.  She and her husband are in poor health and have not been able to take care of their share of the yard work but they let us do what we want with the yard and the Superhero takes care of the yard, which is sizable and it works out for all of us.   She mentioned that she was stuck and was very stressed about the possibility of not so pleasant tenants moving in.  Being stuck is what I fear.   

  After the last year and a half or more of being sick, weak, and depressed, I know what it feels like to be stuck and I loathed it.  The stuck feeling fed the depression.  I don't want to be sick and old and stuck somewhere I am not happy.   I don't want to be stuck inside half the year due to the weather or stuck in bed due to an illness when I can affect it.  

   That horrid feeling was motivating and the memory of it stays fresh in my mind and heart.  I  have worked hard drudging through personal issues with finances left over from childhood, the huge expense of autism, staying out of debt, and living frugally.  From all that hard work and self improvement comes the freedom for us to move.  (All of which I must thank the Superhero for helping me through and being wise and trustworthy)

  Freedom to move to another state is a powerful and beautiful thing however even if I were stuck in this physical place does not mean that I am stuck on the inside.  There have been times that I was stuck inside my own misery in paradise.  Literally,  I lived in Hawaii and I was stuck in my old patterns of thought that held me down and I ended up making a mess of my life and had to leave and go back home which wasn't all that much better.  

  A lot of beauty came out of the chaos but its been a long road which of course is one I will travel my whole life but I see clearer now thanks to a huge amount of work.   I don't have to be stuck.  I choose to be stuck.  I am choosing to be free wherever I am.   I am free to be happy, kind, loving, laugh often, smile more,  be open minded, be a good friend, wife, and mother where ever I am.    



Day 33 of Handstand365 while Milo and Archimedes played Angry Birds in the front yard.


Day 34 working on being light as a feather.  I don't have much hang time but I do have more control kicking up and I am rarely scared to try both of which are huge progress!  

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Cheers,
Angie Bee

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I provide Bradley Method childbirth education, doula, belly casting, placenta encapsulation, and post partum doula services.
I serve families in Kitsap County, Bainbridge Island, Poulsbo, Bremerton, Silverdale, Kingston, Port Townsend, Bremerton, Port Orchard, and the greater Seattle area. email me atangiebeehotz@gmail.com with any questions you might have