Anyone can run toward the light. It takes a person with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine their own light there...
I read a fellow bloggers post today about needing external validation. I found it irksome. It seemed transparent in that he was looking for external validation for being the kind of person who doesn't need external validation. Where is the line between external validation and acceptance or just not being lonely. I find I am lonely when I am not exposed to people who are interested in the same things as I am. It seems like its part of human behavior to need each other and to care what each of us thinks (regardless if we agree but we still care). Its called society and friends and family.
So what does that say about me that I find his blogs so annoying.... Its certainly more than this one post. Its the collection of them and the manic nature of them that rubs me the wrong way. That is a sign of my changing for sure since I used to be very intensity driven. Its probably because I see parts of my old self in these posts and sometimes don't like to remember what I used to be since its still me if I look at the whole me.
|Parighasana Gate Pose|
I do things less intensity driven these days. I don't feel like I have intensity driven goals. I very much think its the yoga that is changing my perspective. It stills me and yet I am challenged and see payoff for my work. Its humbling and satisfying. Its more about whats on the inside than the outside. The asanas are an expression of the intention of inner growth. They are a conduit to meditation and self realization.
I share myself through my blog and social media sites because A. I need to purge and I hope that what I throw out there is useful to someone else whether its not feeling alone or to inspire etc. and B. because people have shown an interest in seeing my perspective and how I live my life and I think it would be selfish to keep the wonder of my life to myself. I am very fortunate. I love this age of technology. We can share in each others lives so much more and yet have the freedom to hide or ignore negative people as well.
|Parvatasana Mountain Pose|
I suppose I am at a point where I have come full circle again and am doing my own thing. I have always done my own thing but in the past there have been times when it has morphed into doing it for reasons that ceased to make me happy as they were to please others. I don't have to force it though, and again, the yoga has played a part in this. I just have to do my own thing. Period. I have plenty of interests to choose from. The problem is not enough time!
I have been thinking a lot about perception and how I am a being experiencing a human condition. The whole world exists for me through sensory input that my neural pathways interpret. I am very much alone, as we all are, and thats a lot to take in. I have a knack for forgetting this but lately through meditation I have been working to be still and quiet and just be.
As I face aging and want to experience life more fully I am finding that I need to do it within myself instead of being detached and in a constant state of distraction. It also seems that being more in touch with myself, my core, the idea that I am a bag of salt water with cells and molecules, and atoms, and bacteria, and neurons firing, and lungs breathing, makes me feel more appreciative of my fellow humans. Life is trip if you slow down and be still for a while.
|Malasana Garland Pose|
Is this what my fellow blogger was trying to say? Is he grappling with his human condition and exploring it from a different angle? I am inclined to think that he has had too many beers for that and that he is still looking for the next big distraction which he calls life experience. For now I need to work on not feeling so self righteous and continue to work on detoxing including detoxing my mind and heart.
Shine my own light regardless of what others say or do. Some fabulous advice I read today was
"Speak without offending. Listen without defending."
Thats some challenging advice!! Namaste.