It's always feels like saying Thank You just is not enough to express the feeling you get when you read a kind word and your chest feels funny and your throat chokes up and you try and fight back tears. It's lovely to read kind words and it makes it even more lovely to be in a place where I accept the good vibes without second guessing my worth. The kind words add to this acceptance and it grows.
So many people have given me kind words, prayers, advice, links, anecdotes, and compliments and I appreciate each and every one. From twitter, G+, blogger, and facebook. The list of people to thank grew so large that I thought I should surely write a post for those that I have not had a chance to respond to individually yet. Just read the comments on my Coming out of the MS Closet post to see how lucky I am to have the friends and supporters that I do.
It will be challenging to keep the diagnosis from defining me now that I am being open about it. Its strange to let a secret out into the world. The diagnosis is something that I have to adapt to and deal with but I am a mother, wife, runner, blogger, friend, good vibe sender, and so much more first. I just have to keep the MS (or whatever is at the core of the issue) from taking all of my attention. Giving out love will save me from myself when all seems lost. Today I feel pretty good but practice will make giving love in order to make myself feel those warm fuzzies come naturally when times are tough. So, I send out my heart, and my love to all of you brilliant people who love and struggle too.
When I first moved to Des Moines five years ago I was living alone with three of my boys and pregnant with Archimedes. Jaymon was still spending much of his time in Kansas working. Someone somewhere on the web inspired me to make a strand of breathing beads. The stress was high and I was looking for relief. This worked the best and so simple although it takes diligence to get the best effect.
I have had this bracelet since that summer five years ago. Now when I take it off of my wrist and hold it in my hand and begin to be aware of my breathing, I automatically relax. Its a lovely warm feeling that I am so glad to have programmed into my subconscious.
Breathe in while touching a bead. Breathe out and move to the next. Sometimes I control my breath and sometimes I just pay attention to how it feels to breath and try not to manipulate it. I remind myself to clench up all of my body and then let it go to relax periodically. I work to be aware of my breath and nothing else. One of the keys to doing this is to not get mad at yourself and stress about a wandering mind. Just gently come back to the in and out of air.
I have used this in the hospital, at the dentist, during spats with Jaymon, meetings with the school, driving, trying to sleep at night, and when I think my spawn will drive me to drink. Any time I need to relax. Hang on and keep breathing.
This link was sent to me by many people and I love that so many people think this is cool! I have watched it several times and I retain more of it each time. I am eating my kale now. I made Kale chips and three of my four boy spawn loved them. I wasn't surprised that my picky eater gagged when he tried it but he did sort of try! It was brought to my attention by my super hero husband that eating this way will not always be enjoyable and choking down those veggies may not always be pleasant but the alternative is worse.
All the veggies take a lot of chewing. I am reposting this link to a post I wrote a while back about mastication. A whole lot of chewing!
Enjoy your fruits and veggies, get some vitamin D, and Thank You again my dear wonderful friends!