Friday, November 11, 2011

Angry Birds and Everyone Poops

If you would have told the girl I was 12 years ago that she would be up on a Friday night blogging about mobile device games in the ER and kid poop she would have said it was total bollocks.
I would not have believed that a human being was cut out of my body like some trippy Sci Fi movie nor would I have believed that I would go on to embrace and enjoy birthing three subsequent boy spawn one of whom was birthed and delivered by me in the other room. who knew I would make milk, nourish, and cuddle these people and like taking care of them so much. It's baffling really how things end up.

Little Archimedes sneaks into our bed late at night often to snuggle. Last night he woke me by writhing in pain and could barely squeak out that his tummy hurt between sobs. He wouldnt drink and it didnt seem to get better no matter what we tried. So on went his Elmo slippers and coat and off we went to the children's hospital.

Archimedes is a spitfire. He has a hot little almost four year old temper and has no qualms with dishing out recrimination for whatever injustice he perceives. He has a lisence for being a drama king and is not afraid to show it. The sting of his fire is lessened by his delicious dimples on the backs of his hands and elbows and the incredible faces that boy can make. I have to remember to respect that it's rough being a wee fella figuring out emotions and testing boundaries and not laugh at the wicked funny things he does with his eyebrows when he is angry.

He promptly chewed out The ER nurse upon arrival for "hurting" his ear when she checked his temperature. He also chewed out the doctor for "hurting" his teeth with the tongue depressor when she looked at his throat.

Everybody poops is what I told him as he watched his Superhero father play Angry Birds to distract him through cramps while waiting for the enima to bring relief. I am thankful that my gross-o-meter volume was turned way down after having babies. I am so thankful to have iPads, iPods, games, and Facebook to pass the stressful time. I even had several books loaded in my iPad that I thankfully didn't have time to read.

Snacks hastily thrown in my bag while headed out the door with fears of appendicitis swirled in my head were left uneaten. A quick X-ray, enima, and bowel movement later and we were being led to the exit by a smiling boy padding down the hall all on his own in his slippers and a handful of Clifford the Big Red Dog Stickers declaring that he felt better and was going home now. I felt like we had dodged a bullet, that it was better to have been safe than sorry and I began to rethink how hard to push the potty learning and that he is just not ready yet and that's ok.

I wonder what memories he will have of the cold night when his tummy hurt and he went to the hospital with nervous parents and had a very pretty blond nurse dressed in pink mess with his butt and then he went home with some stickers feeling better. I wonder if he will end up marrying a kinky blond woman and that in fact this will subconciously bring him closer to delivering on the whole grand baby thing......yeah, I never would have guessed that I would be wondering such surreal things as a thirty something mother.

I never considered myself to be maternal as a child much less thinking of grand babies. For example the only dolls I had rode horses and I was far too busy pretending to be Scarlet from GI Joe to think of babies. I wanted to be a zoo keeper not a mother and I said so.

Either I wasn't listening ( this was probably the case!) or no one told me how much taking care of other people would in turn take care of me. how satisfying on a primal level. I was generous and kind as a child but I did not want babies that were not furry. If the universe had not surprised me with my oldest spawn I never would have known the joys of mothering. My boys amaze and freak me the bleep out often which is so much more interesting than what I was doing before having children.

Here's to taking care of other people to find true happiness, Angry Birds, and finding relief with a good poop.
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I provide Bradley Method childbirth education, doula, belly casting, placenta encapsulation, and post partum doula services.
I serve families in Kitsap County, Bainbridge Island, Poulsbo, Bremerton, Silverdale, Kingston, Port Townsend, Bremerton, Port Orchard, and the greater Seattle area. email me atangiebeehotz@gmail.com with any questions you might have