Tuesday, August 31, 2010

with a cherry on top.

Thanks to Tobi at Busy running mama for giving me the Cherry On Top award! Thank you Tobi!!

#1 Answer this question: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

#2 The second thing you have to do is, pick 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have gotten this award.

#3 The third and final thing is, thank the person who gave you the award. 

#1:  This is hard.  I am happy and things look positive for our future so not sure I would change anything but because this is about my son Jupiter with autism I can't say for sure that I wouldn't risk going back and changing things.   Jupiter having autism has made me a better person.  I have learned so much and grown into a woman that I can be proud of most days.  Having heartache and struggles and limitations makes us grow and I appreciate that although.....

When Jupiter was still growing inside me I decided to have a VBAC or a vaginal birth after a c-section.  I studied and took classes and read like crazy.  I learned so much about childbirth and yet did not do the additional learning about nutrition and vaccinations. I was on that path since we chose against circumcision and to have  an all natural birth.  We believed that ours and our son's bodies are strong and made to take care of themselves.

If I could go back,
I would not have vaxed him and I would have learned more about food intolerances.  I would have been more thoughtful and less trusting of the established ideas of society in regards to children's health.  Who knows, it may or may not have prevented his autism but it certainly would give me some clarity and wouldn't it be wonderful if he could talk.....
I am not sure that vaccinations caused his autism but I am sure that the vaccines timing was too coincidental and after doing much research into the ingredients of vaccines.  yes I looked into each and every ingredient for each and every vaccine and there is some nasty stuff in there.   Through research I have learned that Jupiter has a very hard time detoxifying himself so things like heavy metals stay in his body and continue to do damage.  
The vaccines overfilled his little cup and sent him over the edge into severe autism instead of some quirks.

I have learned from my mistakes and have had all natural births since, extended breastfed, no circumcision, and was aware and educated about food.  My younger two sons do not have autism and only scared us a little with Milo's speech delay. 

Am I wracked with guilt about it?  Sometimes.  Most days I am thankful that he is healthy and growing and can do many things well.  We are a tight and accepting family.  He will be safe and loved with us.  We are lucky as parents that it wasn't much worse and he was lucky to be born to us.  Having been a part of the Special Needs community I am reminded often that it could be much much worse.
I am a mom though and it does tickle that guilt bone, so enough of that  for now!

Ok so now on to #2
 6 people

1. Erika at MCM mama  Beer loving all around great lady! She is a marathoner and mama who seems to make it all work!
2. Adam at I am Boring  So not boring at all and he is also a fellow Iowan at heart and soon to be daddy!
3. Neil at  Because All the cool kids are doing it  Canadian barefoot runner who loves pugs and his family
4. Cynthia at Balls in the air  She just won her age group at a half marathon!  ( I just said balls. hehe)
5.  Patrick at Bourbon Feet  Rock star barefoot runner. He is winning races left and right in VFF and Huaraches!
6. AnneMarie at Goals for the Week  She is a thoughtful and kind woman and a kick ass triathlete. She shares her goals she has for the week on her blog.

#3 Thanks Tobi for making me think and giving me a cool award :)


Andrew Opala said...

Incredibly sensitive and deep reflections about your son and you! We can only expect ourselves to do the best we can with the information we have. You are really awesome!

AM! said...

Hey chica!
Thanks so much for the blog award!! I feel honored.

And thanks for your honest response to #1. I know it's ez for me on the outside to say 'it's SOOO not your fault at ALL!', but yr his mama, and asking 'what if?' is what we mama's do best eh?;-)

Unknown said...

Thanks for the award, Angie! I have to get on this tomorrow night. Tomorrow is Wacky Wednesday!

Adrienne said...

Just read your blog for the first time and as a mom who feels like a failure everyday with perfectly healthy kids I appreciated you sincere post. Sounds like your little guy is definitely in the right hands and I don't think that was any accident. Amazing what we learn from our little ones. My best to you.

Emz said...

I love your answer. It's such a difficult question. You are amazing.

Marlene said...

It must be difficult to look back and wonder "what if" but you are a wonderful mother and I know you feel very fulfilled in life. Keep living it to its fullest! Jupiter is lucky to have you.

I'm reading House Rules by Jodi Piccoult right now... it's about a boy with autism. Have you read it?

Jill said...

Thanks, Angie. It was very moving to read your response! Happy September!

Giorgio said...

I'm pleased to read your blog, Angie ... Another running mother of our blogger community :) Thanks for visiting my blog! When you visit South Italy you'll have fresh figs at breakfast :)

Ewa said...

What a sensitive answer to a difficult question. Your blog always makes me ponder and that is one of many things I love about it. Keep on posting.

MCM Mama said...

Thank you for the award!

As parents, we often second guess our decisions. I often wondered if I could have prevented my kids' food allergies. Or if it was my fault Jones is such an anxious child.
You made the decisions you did with the knowledge you had at the time. And he couldn't have gotten a better family than he did.

(Some day soon, you and I need to meet up and chat over a bottle or two of... nuun?)

The Boring Runner said...

Thanks so much for tagging me!!!!!

Very good points about the vaxs. all very good points.

I provide Bradley Method childbirth education, doula, belly casting, placenta encapsulation, and post partum doula services.
I serve families in Kitsap County, Bainbridge Island, Poulsbo, Bremerton, Silverdale, Kingston, Port Townsend, Bremerton, Port Orchard, and the greater Seattle area. email me atangiebeehotz@gmail.com with any questions you might have
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