Monday, August 29, 2011

sex makes all the difference

  Sex is like a do over button.  Its a chance to let all the stress go and reconnect.  Its an opportunity to reestablish the bond that holds you together.  That annoying thing the other one said earlier just melts away when the rush of Oxytocin  takes over your body and you lay together and talk.

  These days I have been working constantly to reduce stress.  Honesty with a side of humility is the key to this.  I have to admit to myself that I am stressed out even if I think I shouldn't be.  Next it has to be dealt with.  The best way to deal with stress is to talk with someone about it.  I talk to my spouse, my husband, my boyfriend, my lover, my muse, my best friend.  Yes, one person is all of these for me.  That in and of itself can be stressful being someones sounding board so we have sex every day.  Yeah it might be too much information for some but I feel like I should share this very important discovery of mine.  The discovery that sex and sex often is paramount to my happiness.

   Relationships are the hardest thing we will ever do but the benefits, for me anyways, are huge. (hahaha yeah that pun was intended :)
I have been closely watching my chest pain and have found that my chest pain is directly related to the amount of stress I am feeling.  Its an indication for me that I have issues to deal with.   The silver lining is that I am lucky to have a solid indication that I need to get my shit together and deal with my stress.
The nights that I have been laying in bed wide awake just waiting for the heart attack have been the nights that I have been hostile to Jaymon and not made love to him.  I feel the stress and the distance that I put between us as a physical symptom.  Any time I feel stress these days I get chest pain and then can mentally turn it down after I deal with the cause of the stress.
Taking care of someone else and working to make them happy and feel good is a sure way to make me happy.  This is true in sex as well as just being a caretaker for other human beings.

  Besides, who doesn't want to have sex with their favorite person everyday.  If not, then maybe one would wonder why that is. It maybe doesn't have to be everyday but why not?  I wondered why I didn't like sex and came to the conclusion that I was being short-sided in my attitude and perspective.  Now I have decided that its something I need and want even if it seems like a hassle sometimes to make time for it.  I make time for some lovin anyways.  If I don't my heart will hurt both emotionally and physically.  It's all connected.

There are many things I have done to work back to feeling good again and I must say that I have not felt this great in close to a year. I don't need things.  I just need time and we have lots of that.  Its a barefoot lifestyle.  A minimalist lifestyle. No pills, clean diet, spending time with my spawn, meditation, yoga, and sex.
Its a matter of meeting my primal needs as a human being so I can grow and become more that what I am now.

7 comments:

Amanda@runninghood said...

Rock on! You've made me decide to go get some right now! Or as soon as the kids are engaged in something for awhile. Wahooo! My husband loves this post. He says thank you!

Janice said...

Your last paragraph says it all. I couldn't agree more. I'm getting more and more minimalist in everything I do. Like you, I'm trying to reduce my stress and re-connect with myself and my family.

Huey said...

As Janice wrote, the last paragraph says it all.

The message here is similar to the one in a book I'm now reading by Jim Axelrod, "In the Long Run: A Father, a Son, and Unintentional Lessons in Happiness."

I know I just need to simplify my life to enjoy my family and friends so much more than I do right now.

But I'm working on it!

Erica said...

bow chick a wow wow :)

Cynthia O'H said...

Minimalist lifestyle sounds perfect to me! There's a lot to be said for simplicity.

Jamie said...

Agreed. 100%. My cranky-ness is directly related to my "getting it."

Joe Wrigley said...

+1

Since you mention primal needs, I wonder if you've looked at any of Mark Sisson's "Primal Blueprint" stuff. He has a lot to say about this sort of thing. Especially diet. You're already halfway there as you're gluten-free, but I wonder if you'd find cutting out the legumes (to avoid lectins) might benefit you (and Jupiter).

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