I have been working on cleaning up the blog and organizing. I have made new contacts and established new relationships this week. I have been very productive and found a working relationship with the hubby this week that allowed us to be productive together instead of me competing and being silly. It has been a "good" week although unbalanced.
I have not been running and am suffering for it. I looked on the Mind the Ducks website and my name is on the registered participants list! This thrills and terrifying me all at the same time. I will get to meet some online friends that I have been really wanting to meet in person for over a year now. The running does not scare me one bit but the meeting new people. Oi. Its not a specific anxiety and I know everyone feels it but its easy to plan big inside a bubble. Stepping out of that bubble....it will be a blast and I need to hang onto that.
I don't know how many miles I will run but I am going to train like I am running 50. Maybe I can get a marathon in as a training run. That would be a fun way to get some distance in. What lies to I tell myself? What perspective shift will get me on that treadmill in the basement? Maybe its the snow on the ground. Maybe its a vitamin deficiency and maybe right now its the stupid candy I ate.
I knew no candy would be hard but I finally caved and now I am infracted. This is what we call the negative consequence of eating an offending food. When I or Jupiter get infracted we get very agitated and depressed. Everything is loud and abrasive and I am just down right unhappy. I now have a newfound motivation to stay away from candy and as many processed foods as possible. It just doesn't seem to work out for me.
At first I felt weak and wanted to sink into a funk of failure. Now I just feel motivated by the understanding that the candy that I saw as a treat and something special is now just something that is not worth it to eat. It seems as if a long carried baggage filled with childhood food dysfunction can be set down and left behind.
So, I have movies to watch while I run and maybe I will get a running orgasm! As Christian pointed out in the comments, thats quality blog fodder!
Its strange I know, but I really wish tomorrow where Monday. I have things to do and they are not errands that can be run on the weekend. I have a sneaky suspicion I will need a passport this year. Nothing is planned but there are wide open opportunities that may point in that direction. After my name change I need to get a new SS card before getting my passport. Samson is getting a checking account and I have phone calls to make. I slept in today so I feel caught up and ready to get things done. Its lovely to feel motivated instead of in a procrastination rut!
I am off to the basement to get in ......any kind of miles will do.
Be happy and well my friends.